Being an Adult: Questioning Life's Burden and Children

If someone were to tell me that when I grew up I would still desire something different, something greater and something completely fulfilling, I would not believe them. The ugly truth is as a youth you view the world in a simpler light. You are likely to seek self gratification with what you are given. For those of us who were fortunate of having nurturing hardworking parents, it is even more evident on how little concern and understanding we had of the real world. However as time passes and casting of independence is granted,  your view of the world is no longer simple. Instead it is a thrilling and scary ocean of possibilities. Survival is the moderately stocked boat to which your parents cast you out on. It is up to you to make calculated decisions. It is up to you to set a direction and sail. You must avoid the threats lurking, careless rocking and prepare in advance for bad weather to come. In retrospect life as an adult in a world full of possibilities carries much responsibility, rejection, heartbreak, stress of all sorts, decision making, adversities, self discovery, independence and at times a much appreciated tribulation.  
The key to survival is being smart about your resources, viewing your body and health as an investment, establishing backup plans, saving money by spending wisely. Unfortunately people there are some people who aren't strong enough to surface from life's burdens and instead they surrender and resort to devastating actions.

Moreover, when I turn on the news and hear that parents in my very own county let alone around the world are killing their own precious children and then themselves, I honestly begin to hyperventilate and cry. I am pained with a swollen heart that throbs from anguish! I cry because these are PRECIOUS CHILDREN. The bible states that in the last days along with many other things there will be lack of natural affection. What is this world coming to? Has society, government, crime, finances, fear, hate, depression, stress, misconceptions of love and all it's drama finally taken a toll on troubled souls?

It breaks my heart to know that these children weren't given a chance to be children. They weren't fortunate enough to have parents who could survive being an adult.

If only I had a brain

There are days when I want to stop time, rewind, take careful note, return back to the future so I cannot look like an idiot when someone approaches me and ask me if 'I remember'. Busy should be my first name and forgetful should be my last. So just call me Mrs. Busy Forgetful. It seems the older I get the more memory cells seem to evaporate. I swear it has to be the deodorant. Well that’s just my theory; considering Americans tend to have a higher rate of elders getting Alzheimer Disease with comparison to the elderly in other countries such as India: hence they do not rely on deodorant as much as we do. But again that's just what I believe. View Statistics. Actually I read it somewhere a long time ago, and can't seem to REMEMBER where I read it. See my point!
Lately I have been forgetting to do things. It's beginning to scare me. My mother claims it's from doing too many things within a day and lack of sleep. Maybe she's right or maybe it's the deodorant.
I have to now walk around with post-it notes and a note pad and quickly jot down things I do not want to forget or need to do later. I'm getting old people. It's official the old noggin is finally wearing down. Maybe I could start eating more brain food. Okay now I just have to write that down and put it on one of  my post it notes for things to do in the future. We'll see how that goes.

Private Parts in Literature

I am trying to write an intense scene that involves describing the male organ, its appearance and its intended purpose. I have read so many romance novels that often referred to it as a cock, shaft, sex, dick, and lastly penis.

But each time I type either word it just doesn't seem to fit. Maybe it's just me. Interestingly enough I have no problem reading other author's sex scenes silently in my mind. No problem at all.

In addition, the female organ in most romance novels is often referred to as, sex, slit, core, pussy, etc., and rarely as a vagina.
I like calling it what it is rather than camouflaging it with obscure terms: Penis and vagina. It seems these two words have developed a bad rep over the years and as it seems may have been removed from the English language. Even as a child when we are taught how to use the toilet or 'potty' we are brain washed with cutie names for our private parts. On contrary when the real name of our private parts is revealed we can't help but to wince at the offensive word vagina and penis.

I know this first hand because I was one of them.

Why? Well it seems that the word penis and vagina are simply too blunt, too explicit, and simply too 'close to home'. So instead of accepting the raw terms we sugar coat them.
I thought about it and I have made my mind up to use the raw terms penis and vagina because that's what they are. They are actually neat terms.

Spring Is Here. Finally!

Spring can be viewed as uplifting freedom from the overbearing depression of winter. Goodbye frigid, dry cold air. Goodbye sneaky black ice. Adios frost bite. Chao white out and hello landscape of color. Hasta luego afternoon nights and hello extended daylight hours of Spring! After the amount of snow that burried many this winter, I do not want to see another deceptively pretty snow flake until next year!

This Spring my goal is to be more active and partake in activities with my suddenly overactive three year old. Perhaps picnics in the park, crack of dawn boat fishing and bike riding along trails. Write in my novel under a tree. Even visit local farms and pick fresh fruits and vegetables from the fields. There are so many simple yet wonderful things to do without having to take a 'vacation'. And let me not forget gardening. Gardening is my own personal therapuetic release. I love knowing that it was my hands, blood, tears and sweat that help nuture one of god's amazing creations. It instills a sense of pride and ownership that can't be mistaken for anything else.

Spring some how makes me want to enjoy life and love. Spring promotes possiblity and newness. From the glorious colors, to the tiniest creature, to the fresh air carrying the scent of the earth's awakening, Spring is a blessing.
Spring Fever...Can't you feel it...Can't you see it...Can't you smell it?

One day It will be true

Is it strange that when I'm in the bathroom I stare into the mirror pretending I'm on camera and answering questions about my currently unpublished book? My son often stares at me as if I'm a martian standing in his mother’s bathroom. Of course I do it only when my husband is asleep or not home. He would definitely call me crazy if he ever saw how in-depth my make believe interviews actually were.
I told my sister I was going to be a well-known author one day; and she of course laughs at me and gives her best sisterly advice that I seek immediate help.
I'm a Gemini. Period. We believe the impossible is always possible. It is what makes us so spontaneous and charming. I recall reading the characteristics of my birth sign and I damn near fell off my chair. All of it was true down to the getting bored easily part. My mother always said I was definitely a true Gemini, I guess she was right.
However, the down fall of being instilled with such a boundless insight on life turns out to be both a gift and a curse. Most times at the end of the day, I always ask how the hell did I get myself into this situation. Thankfully I married a Virgo who tends to keep me grounded and safe from reaping consequences of half cooked ideas.
Despite my sister’s advice, I have a strange feeling that I will leave this earth with two profound legacies, my handsome son as well as a published manuscript.


I'm back and geared up. I had to take a break from posting online and writing in my novel for a while. I kept getting writer's block and desperately needed to get my personal life back in order. Thankfully…now that things have snapped back into shape I can now concentrate on another crazy idea of mine to start a book club.

Lately I’ve been reading novel after novel after novel and felt the need to talk about the books I have obsessed myself with. So I asked myself, “Self why not post your thoughts online and gain the interest of friends and family who can comment as well?”
So if you’re reading this and realize that you are raising an eyebrow and considering the convenience, thrill and comfort of chatting with other women and becoming a critic then join this book club and comment!!

Since it is February, I think it is suiting to read a romance genre. Suggestion: Midnight Breed novel series by Laura Adrian. ‘Kiss of Midnight’
Ps. If not obvious, my favorite genre is of course Paranormal Romance.
So who is interested and what is your favorite genre?


LOVE IT LOVE IT! The cast is very attractive...especially Damon (Ian Somerhalder). He has the most mesmerizing crystal blue eyes I've ever seen! And that cocky smirk of his turns me into puddy! I could go on and on about how I can't seem to take my eyes off of him. He is soooo bad. The kind of bad I look forward to watching every Thursday night. Each time he seduces and bites, I think to myself, 'Wow she's so lucky! In my opinion he makes the show come alive and a pleasure to watch.
It is shows like this and movies like Twilight that inspire me to write. One day, hopefully some day I'll finish my book and have it published.

What are your thoughts?

Dreams Are Boulders

I'm so glad to report that I broke through my writer's block. Here is what I did...

  1. Took a break.

  2. Snacked on food that made me happy: cheese cake, chocolate soy milk, cream cheese and crackers, Toll House chocolate chip cookies, vanilla bean ice cream with Hershey chocolate syrup and crushed party peanuts...YUMMY... and the list goes on and on folks. Although most of these things are quite fattening, they're so worth the extra ounces if eaten in moderation. My stomach is growling just thinking of these delectable treats. I probably should have eaten before writing this post.

  3. At 11 o'clock at night I stared at the ceiling completely upset with my writing dilemma. I stared at the boring uninspiring ceiling for about two hours simply drumming my fingers on the mattress and figured it best to recite my story in highlight format. My intentions were to let the story be the last thing on my mind. In my experience, if I see or hear something disturbing or mind boggling before going to sleep I tend to suppress the thought or posing questions in one of my brain's (question and figure out later) memory chambers - and once asleep it either plays out like a story line and then becomes a nightmare or amazingly formulates a solution for a problem. Reciting the highlight was like counting sheep. By chapter five I became dead to the world. Drooling dead. But anyway...I went to sleep dreaming of where I last left off in my story. Bingo! Dreams are so beneficial. They're like mental time-outs! And during that physical retreat your given pure freedom to think, consider, figure out, imagine, and wish in peace - and that's exactly what I did. The story literally took off and became it's own movie. The characters were defined through dialogue and actions, the events lead to drama and the drama resulted into a compelling story. I awoke the next day bi-passing the use of the toilet just so I could put what I dreamt on paper. It was like a mental convulsion.

So with all this said, when in writer's block, don't beat yourself up over it. Simply take a break, treat yourself and then sleep on it. It worked for me!


As it is evident from my last post, I'm currently working on a paranormal romance novel. So far I've completed five interesting chapters in my novel. The unfortunate thing however, is that I'm at a point where the story can go into two separate directions. Such a decision has created a debate concerning reality vs. fantasy. My problem is keeping the story earth bound so readers are capable of relating. As a devoted consumer of paranormal fiction I find that incorporating the norm into a fantasy story is a very important and enjoyable aspect. I do not want to pull the story out of my ass but having this writer's block isn't helping that alternative any. I'm so frustrated! I didn't think I would have this problem. So as of this evening I'm putting my mouse down and walking away from the damn screen! I'll proceed once I find some type of muse of course.

Finally I am a Blogger!!!

I've been hearing a lot of hype about having a personal blog. At first I thought it was quite silly and vain to want to share your thoughts with the world. However, my perspective of blogging changed once I began writing my first novel. I totally get it now. It is fun. It is freedom. It is your public diary. And of course it's vain but I love it.